In the future we'll all be gay
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
