Im at strip club and am horny
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize