I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
