Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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