Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
