ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
