If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
