So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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