Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
