Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This house was built for laser tag.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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