She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
