We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
