The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
