I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You smell like a Billy Joel song
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
