Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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