If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
