I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
