Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
