I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
