their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
