I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
