he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
