how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
