it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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