My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
