..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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