tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
