So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Mom said you looked used
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize