I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
