I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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