Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
