it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
