We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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