it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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