What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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