Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
