Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
