I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
