You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize