you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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