I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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