We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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