my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you inspire me to be a worse person
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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