I cannot find my penis.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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