He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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