just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
