Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
