When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
