ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
