do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you would pick up someone in the library
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
