I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize