I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
