Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
