he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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