how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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