I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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